I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
