He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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