if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
