oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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