the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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