what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
