Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
we should paint friendship bongs
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