you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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