If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
