Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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