Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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