Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
