ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Small penises have feelings too.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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