I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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