When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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