so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
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If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
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I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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