Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize