You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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