I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize