He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
