it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
