I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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