So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
