Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
