I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
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I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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