If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
