Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
