Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
