I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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