a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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