You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
