Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
