I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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