uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
