YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
