so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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