Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize