officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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