Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
