**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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