i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
