everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
