I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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