Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
