I cannot find my penis.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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