Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
