everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
