I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
