no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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