WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Jerry, you need to find god
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
