no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
