I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
