I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
