There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
