Please, let me fuck your mom
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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