Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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