The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
