Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize