You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize