Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
